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Hannah curtly sent
Janine to the bar to get them each a drink. She scanned the room
furtively, and noticed Rona and the others in the corner, with Rona
waving frantically and beckoning her over. Hannah smiled uneasily,
paused, and then walked over there. Rona thought she looked a little
reluctant to join them, but this made no sense in her mind so she
quickly dismissed it. Hannah was pleased to see her friends, all
right, but she wasn't relishing explaining who Janine was. She hadn't
meant to take her to this gig at all, but she hadn't been able to
shake her; and she knew that if she didn't show up Rona would never
give her peace about it. Besides, there was just a slight chance
Janine might see somebody in the bar who she liked more than Hannah
- preferably somebody male. "Oh my god!" squealed
Rona. "Why didn't you tell me you'd met someone?"
Hannah grimaced.
"Met like a car meets a brick wall" she said. She glanced
around the table: Alain was grinning at her in a sly and knowing
manner; Sacha was inscrutable, as ever; Phuong was just her usual
quiet, friendly self; Brent nodded to her discreetly, a warm smile
on his face; Catherine was so absorbed in Brent that she barely
even acknowledged Hannah's presence. Rona pushed one of the bottles
of wine towards Hannah. "Honey" said Hannah, "I'm
gonna need something stronger." Fortunately in that regard
Janine shortly came over with a couple of shots clutched in her
hands. Hannah introduced her to everyone uneasily - Janine didn't
recognise Alain from the night at the bar when Hannah had kissed
her, but Alain remembered her clearly. Now that they were all here
(except, to Rona's secret frustration, the young man from the record
store), the drinking began in earnest. Rona and Phuong had each
started earlier than the others - though Phuong had slowed down
pretty quickly in the interests of staying sober. The others, for
the most part, were happily draining the two bottles in front of
them and making plans to get more; although Sacha - capable though
she was of drinking and holding a sizeable quantity of alcohol -
held back a little. She was concerned about Hannah: she watched
her, confident that the others were too busy drinking to pay any
attention, and wished that she felt bold enough in her friendship
with Hannah to suggest that she slow down, that she try not
getting drunk for once. But she just didn't feel like she knew Hannah
well enough. Janine was also watching Hannah, watching her with
rapt devotion: it felt to her like something entirely new, being
here with this strange girl who was so bold, so out-going. And because
Hannah drank, Janine drank too - matching her girlfriend (my girlfriend!
she thought to herself, and it was suddenly like being seventeen
again) drink for drink. And the inebriation she quickly felt washing
warmly over her inured her to the comments that slipped ever more
carelessly from Hannah's mouth as she too succumbed to the alcohol.
When Hannah slapped a hand on Janine's shoulder and said, loudly,
to Rona: "She's not so bright, but she's not bad to look at"
and laughed mirthlessly, Janine assumed that she was merely teasing.
Rona didn't notice anything in Hannah's tone either: she was getting
pretty drunk herself, and was trying to concentrate on the music
anyway. The others all seemed to be ignoring Hannah (though Alain
was secretly listening). It suddenly seemed to Sacha that she was
the only one there who saw what was going on.
It all became too
much for her. She excused herself and walked across the bar past
a stack of speakers where the sound of the bass drum kicked out
into her chest and made her heart rattle at her ribcage, and she
entered the bathroom. It was empty: she walked into a cubicle, shut
the door behind her (while the band played, muffled, through the
walls) and clutched the cistern until her knuckles went white. She
breathed hard. She could feel, unexpectedly, the alcohol starting
to swirl in her stomach. She shut her eyes and exhaled, trying not
to think of being sick.
She heard the bathroom
door swing open: the sound of the music was momentarily louder,
and somebody's clacking footsteps entered the room. "Sacha?"
Sacha opened her
eyes. She hadn't been expecting this. She coughed. "Yeah?"
"You all right,
hon?" Hannah sounded genuinely concerned.
"Yeah, I'm
okay. Just had a bit too much a bit too quick."
There was a pause
which hung heavily in the air. Sacha could hear herself breathing.
"Listen" said Hannah. She sounded much more emotional
than she had out in the bar, but Sacha didn't know how much of that
was due to drunkenness. "Janine . . . I mean, me and
Janine . . . I . . . It's not her, you know?"
Sacha felt like
she could almost hear Hannah trying to compose her words, trying
to organise her thoughts. Suddenly she realised that she didn't
want to talk to her, not like this: one of them drunk, and the other
in a toilet cubicle. "Hannah, not now, okay? Just . . . Not
now."
There was another
pause. "Okay" said Hannah softly, and Sacha heard her
walking back out of the bathroom.
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