INSTANT LIFE SUBSTITUTE
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Episode 23 - 5 March 2005

Mal looked up at the sky. "I think it's gonna start raining again, man."

Alain waved his concerns away as they walked along Chapel Street. The streets were wet and cool and the noise of race-cars was incessant. "Nah" said Alain. "Fuck that, it's not gonna rain anymore."

"Cool." This was good enough for Mal. "Hey, how was the first week back at uni?" Alain shrugged wearily. "Just drop out, man!" urged Mal. "Everyone else does."

"But the girls, mate" said Alain, "the girls."

Mal nodded, conceding the point. Then he grinned. "Man, you should try being in a band then. It's the fucking express ticket to getting laid, mate!"

"Yeah?" Alain's interest was piqued.

Mal giggled. "Nah, I'm just kidding. Anyway, Rona's always at the gigs. Makes it kinda hard, you know?"

Alain thought about this. "Anything ever happen between you two?"

"Nah!" Mal thought about this for a moment. "What about you and her?" he asked Alain.

"Man . . ."Alain shrugged again. "She's not my type, you know?"

"Yeah. Besides . . ." Mal and Alain looked at each other. "You'd be kinda worried she'd tear your balls off if you did anything wrong, wouldn't you?"

"Yeah. Oh, cool, look at those!" Alain stopped suddenly, having spotted a pair of shoes in a shop window.

Mal stopped as well to look at them. "You have anything that goes with them?" he asked.

"Man, anything goes with anything" replied Alain, slightly exasperated. "You've just gotta work it!"

Mal frowned "I dunno. They're more you than me." They were a pair of white vinyl velcro-strapped platform sneakers, with electric blue stripes down the sides.

"Man, I wonder how much they are." Alain went inside the shop; Mal followed him. While Alain looked at the shoes, Mal went to the back and looked through a rack of t-shirts. He found a pastel-coloured one with the name of an old T.V. show emblazoned across the front. "Dude, you ever heard of this show?"

Alain looked up. "Nup."

"Right." Mal held the t-shirt out at arms length to look at it. "Cool . . ." he said, nodding to himself.

Alain came over to him. "You know what we gotta do? We gotta go cruising for chicks. Man, let's do it tonight!"

"Tonight? Dude, Rona's having Review Night!"

Alain put his hand to his head. "Oh, shit yeah!" He thought for a moment. "What about the Grand Prix? Formula One chicks, whadya reckon?"

"I can't afford it" Mal said. "Anyway, it's got that whole petrol-head vibe, you know?" Alain nodded. It pained him, but he knew Mal was right. Mal looked down at the shoes Alain was now holding. "You gonna buy them then?"

Alain brightened up again. "Fucking oath!" he exclaimed.