INSTANT LIFE SUBSTITUTE
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Episode 51 - 21 April 2005

Sacha retraced the route back from Richmond, catching the tram up Victoria Street and then waiting despondently for the connecting tram to Fitzroy. Once back in her tiny flat she picked up the telephone. She opened the 'phone book to a well-thumbed page and ran her finger down the column of names and ads there, found the number she was looking for, and dialled. She wasn't expecting an answer, not on a Sunday afternoon, but she had to do something. To her surprise, after a few rings a woman picked up at the other end. "Good afternoon, Forrest Recruitment Services, how may I help you?"

"Oh, hi" said Sacha. "I registered with you a couple of weeks ago and I haven't heard anything back yet, so I just wanted to know if you'd heard about any jobs that might suit me?"

"Can I have your name, please?"

Sacha spoke very clearly: "Sacha Mills."

"Just a moment." the sound of the woman typing on a keyboard rattled down the 'phone line. There was a pause. "Could you spell your surname for me, please?"

Sacha frowned. "What the fuck?" she muttered to herself. Then she spoke out loud again: "M-I-L-L-S."

"Oh" said the woman, "Mills."

"Yes" said Sacha with some irritation. "Sacha Mills. 'Sacha' with a 'c'."

More typing on the keyboard. "Mmm . . . I'm sorry Ms. Mills, you don't appear to be in the system. When did you say you registered?"

Sacha frowned. "Wednesday two weeks ago. I went to your website and it said 'send us your C.V.', so I did."

"Ohh . . ." said the woman with sudden understanding. "Lots of people send us their C.V.s. It doesn't mean that they're registered."

"What?"

"Have you filled out a registration form?"

"No, there was no mention of forms on the website." Sacha started gesticulating angrily to the empty flat. "It just said 'send us your C.V.' I got an email back from some bloke saying thanks for the C.V., and he didn't mention anything about forms either."

"I'm sorry, you have to fill out the form to register."

"Well, could you please send me one then?"

"I'm sorry" said the woman again, "you'll have to come in to one of our branches. Where do you live?"

"In Fitzroy."

"Okay . . . So the nearest branch is probably the one in St. Kilda . . ."

"Hang on. Isn't there a branch somewhere north of the river?"

"No, I'm afraid not. And I should tell you, we haven't been placing very many people in jobs lately."

Sacha shut her eyes and clasped a hand to her forehead. "Right. Well thankyou very much." She put the 'phone down and slumped into a chair, her back turned to the window.