INSTANT LIFE SUBSTITUTE
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Episode 929 - 16 July 2009

"Holy shit!" Rona said, opening another box.

"What've you found?" Miranda asked. She moved over to where Rona was crouched over the box and banged her head on the under-side of the table. "Ow. Fuck."

"You all right?"

"Yeah, I'm fine" Miranda said, rubbing the back of her head. "What's in there, then? What's so 'holy shit'?" she asked, indicating the box in front of Rona with her free hand.

"It's . . ." Rona leafed through the stack of magazines in the box. "I think it's, like, every back-issue of the Word on the Street. Like, ever."

"No kidding!"

Rona blinked and shook her head incredulously. "I swear to god, I don't even remember packing these. I must've just pulled everything out of my cupboard and shoved it all in boxes without even looking. I . . ."

"Are you all right?" Miranda asked, reaching out to lay her hand tenderly on Rona's shoulder.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine" Rona insisted. "It's just fucking weird. I was thinking about the Word just, like, an hour ago. Jesus, that's weird. I just open the box and bam! There it all is."

"You should keep them. They might be worth something one day."

Rona looked at her witheringly. "As kitty-litter, maybe."

"But if you read through them you'd probably find that they're a lot better than you remember them being."

"I seriously doubt that. I didn't even think they were that good at the time."

"Oh, come on!"

"I'm serious! I mean I tried to make them good, but it wasn't up to me, was it? The world's better off without it. And I'm not saying that to be melodramatic, I know it sounds like I am but I'm not. I'm just saying, it was a pretty shitty magazine and it's not like there's a shortage of those around."

"But are you better off without it?" Miranda asked gently.

"Shit yeah! Without all that stress? Without all the people in the office hating me because I was the only one in there who actually bothered to do a bit of serious editing of all the shit they wrote?"

"Well, I miss it" Miranda said unexpectedly. "I liked reading your articles and your reviews. You were a good writer, Rona."

Rona didn't have anything to say to that.