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Before Hannah could answer, Shelly
hurried across the room and hooked her arm and said "Not in
here", and led her out of Sacha's room.
"Stop it!" Hannah said
irritably. "You don't have to drag me."
"I'm serious, Hannah"
Shelly said when they were back outside the room, and Shelly had
shut the door. Her voice was still low: like a hiss, it seemed to
Hannah. "Don't you think of these things? Listen, I have to
say this to you but I have to. It's like - it's like you have half
an idea. It's like you do half a job."
"Oh that's bullshit!"
Hannah interjected. But she didn't offer any further defence of
herself.
"I don't think it is"
Shelly said. "You talk a lot about how much you like Sacha,
how nice she is, how she's the best housemate you've ever had, but
- talk's easy, Han. When it comes to the crunch how do you back
it up? I think it's too hard for you. Sometimes I swear for all
your talk it's . . . it's just lip service."
"All this just because I didn't
shut a window!" Hannah said incredulously. "I mean what's
the point, your mind's obviously made up. I don't think this argument
needs both of us to be here, do you?"
"It's not just about the Sacha"
Shelly said, trying hard to maintain her patience and level her
voice. "And it's not just about the window. It's your whole
attitude, Hannah. Sometimes, I swear to god, it feels like
you don't care about anyone but yourself. Not really."
"Like when?" Hannah demanded.
"Like - look, are you really
gonna make me name specific examples?"
"I think you should be able
to come up with one" Hannah said. "If you're gonna accuse
me like that."
"It's not an accusation -"
"Well then what the fuck is
it, Shelly? Helpful advice?"
"Yes!" Shelly said gratefully,
leaping on the phrase. "That's exactly what it is. Helping
you to be a better person. Just a little bit better."
"Helping me be the kind of
person you want me to be."
"You're already the
kind of person I want, Hannah. You're you. And I love that.
But - it's not all good, and that worries me. It really worries
me. 'Cause you can't go on living in a bubble."
"Ha!" Hannah scoffed.
"This house is a fucking bubble. But it's my bubble,
you're just a guest here, so don't fucking come in here and start
heaping this shit on me."
"So - what, you want me to
leave?" Shelly asked. "Hannah, is that what you want?"
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